23 comments on “Friday Fiction: Blown

  1. Whew! My heart rate seriously jumped at the end! You have a magnificent talent at building suspense. I have to know, what is Aldon going to do next?!

  2. To feel as if you’d gotten away and then have that happen would ruin your whole day! I like the use of “sauntered” and “strolled” to show how he was trying to be casual, yet the tension came through.

    janet

  3. This was a tense and intense story, but I can’t help wondering if it should have also been present tense so it’s all happening right now? Anyway, enough tension!

    • Thanks. I guess I’m a traditionalist when it comes to tense. I know it’s become more common, especially for short stories, to write in present tense. I don’t mind reading it that way either. But most of what I read is still in past tense, and it’s what I always write. Something for me to think about, though. I really appreciate the input.

  4. Dear Hunter, Whoa! Not only is his cover blown he probably will be soon. Good story! Didn’t see that coming. Good job! Nan :)

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